My eight-year-old daughter started 3rd grade this month on Zoom. Each morning at 9, she sits down at her desk, opens her computer, puts on the headphones and "goes to school."The teacher is incredibly creative as the class plays relational games, watches videos, does art projects, assesses skill levels and engages with new friends, all online.
Last night, I gently opened her door and went in to say goodnight. Sitting down on her flower bedspread and leaning against her pile of stuffed animals, I asked, "How are you feeling tonight?"
She replied, "I feel a little shaky in my stomach."
I affirmed the noticing of her body's cues. It was trying to give her information.
She continued, "I'm distracted all day long and even if I want to cry, I push it away. Then, at night, it's quiet and I don't like it. My feelings come up. I don't like it at all."
We continued a beautiful conversation about emotional intelligence. We named that most of us are taught to push our feelings away. They're uncomfortable and we want to appear "strong."
"What do you think happens when we keep pushing those feelings away?"
She looked around for a moment and then answered, "They keep coming back."
I replied, "Yup. That's been my experience. What do you think those feelings want?"
She smiled and said, "Our attention."
So for anyone whose brain has been overriding their heart a lot lately. It's okay to cry.
There are tears
you could cry